Sleep to Extinction.

450 days.

Fortunately, I count no more. This journey has come to an end. I’m a weary venturer, but I can finally take a rest and breathe. She’s mine again. After all the anguish and labors of the past 450 days, I finally have her again. This was likely the most degrading, miserable experience of my life, with the exception of the final 30 or so days in which I gradually began to regain her love and admiration again.

February 1, 2008: Day of Perfection. 

January 19, 2009: Day of Demise.

This has all been said before, I know. However, I’m through with these dates. I’m tired of keeping tabs on the past. 11 months, 19 days with her; 14 months, 26 days without her. I’m done with what’s happened.

April 14, 2010: Day of Revival. 

This is my new day. My mind is set on what’s to come. I can shape the future, I can live this present in utter joy.

I love her so damn much that I may never even understand.

I can see the fire burning brighter than ever before.

Can’t you?

I may be overwhelmed with this bliss

but hell that’s more than alright with me.

You are, no, we are

Perfect.

I may

be weak but I’m on the brink of saying something to him. More than that if necessary. 

I have the urge to beat him until he’s pleading to be in hell. 

A.N.

I fucking hate him. What he’s done to you; to me; to us. I hate the glares. The proposed “love” he has for you. The threats. The irrationality. The ignorance. The arrogance. The idiotic displays of anger. The pouts and whines. The bullshit.

The complete, utter bullshit.

No more. He can live forever in solitude; it’s what the bastard deserves.

I love you too much to stand by and let you cope with it any longer.

I’d love

to just walk with you. To have your hand resting in mine as we’re swinging our arms, smiling, and talking about absolutely nothing. I’d love to do this with no destination and for us to just happen to stumble upon the perfect site. An impression of the charming sanctuary from my dreams. And then I’d love for us to watch the sunset and gaze at that stars that precede it.

That would make my day or perhaps even my life.

Shouldn’t it be easy from here?

Then please, girl, purge him from your life.

You shouldn’t let him trample on you anymore like he has. The first time is where it should have ended. I hate that it has persisted like it has. If you want him out, let him know. I’m proud that you’ve finally stood up to him. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. He seems to be only capable of threats anyway.

He’s a nightmare as I’ve said in the very beginning. I’m glad you see this now.  

I just woke and it’s so fucking cold. Now I’m looking up wondering what possessed anyone to turn that damn ceiling fan on, and I’m waiting for the coffee to warm back up. Just a taste of my lame ass morning.

I can’t bring myself to think that everything’s going to be okay. It’ll be of much more ease once it’s actually visible that it’ll be okay. I just have to drag myself through this a little longer, correct? 

He

isn’t worth your time, I promise.

Under disturbed skies, a boy occupies an abused sidewalk. An elderly man approaches him with a look of odd intentions about him.

Son, in exchange for what you value most, I can give you this whole world lying before you. You’ll reign over the towns, cities, kingdoms. This is an offer that will change your life forever.

The boy responded to the man’s strange address with a tilt of his head to meet the face of the stranger. The man observed the melancholy in the boy’s seemingly forsaken eyes.

I do not have ownership of what I value most, the boy finally said.

(Assumption made, this was no ordinary merchant.)

It matters not, the exchange is for what you value, not what you have ownership of.

The boy stood before the man, fist clenched, angry,

I’d rather you keep your world and hold your offers; what I value most, she is worth more than a million cities to me, a thousand kingdoms. If I had so much as a town, an empire, or even a world of my own, I’d likely give it all to her anyway.

The man was baffled by the boy’s rejection,

Just who is this that you value so much?

The boy began his walk across the earth’s crust,

Someone who’s long forgotten me, but whom I’d do anything for and wouldn’t expect anything in return.

The man eyes the boy in disgust,

You deny this world to keep someone like that? That’s foolish.

The boy turned and met the man once more,

No, that is just the spiraling damnation I’ve fallen in.

Confused, the man replies,

Just what kind of debt have you on yourself that you won’t trade for ownership of the world?

The boy opens his weak mouth and utters the damned word,

Love.

What I could never express to you

Is the beauty of the daydreams I’ve had about you and how I’ve accumulated so many that I’ve nearly created a second life in my head. One that I wish could blossom in reality. But now it most certainly can, can’t it?

Oh, and the stories? God, I’d tell you a million if only I could. I still find it hard to believe that you enjoy them. Let us see what else I can piece together.

I intend to make us as happy as this entity that I am is capable of doing so. And more.